Leave Strange Eggs Alone – Piranhaconda (2012)

Piranhaconda is exactly what you would expect from this made-for-television movie directed by low-budget guru Jim Wynorski. It features a hybrid creature combining an anaconda with that of a piranha which fits in quite perfectly amongst the rest of Syfy’s stable of mutated monsters. None too surprising is that it was produced by Roger Corman and usually, while you can at least expect to have an all right time with what he makes on most occasions; the same cannot be said for this soulless drivel.

The story which was written by Mike MacLean is unnecessarily convoluted involving Michael Madsen as a scientist, a film crew, some other scientists, some kidnappers and a stolen egg which just happens to belong to a Piranhaconda. What follows is highly formulaic for these types of films where said creatures go on a rampage; killing everybody they can with nothing being able to stop them. Just when you think it is all over, it turns out that it might not be and piranhaconda3Wynorski leaves it open for a sequel which surprisingly, has not been realized as of yet.

One has to wonder while watching this exactly just why they are indeed doing so. It is not as if these particular films are very exciting or anything as you know exactly what is going to happen and there is not exactly any mystery or horror or great characterization to be found anywhere within them. They all follow a certain formula and yet, Syfy seems to have discovered that if you mash two things together, be them sharks and tornados or piranhas and anacondas, that people will tune in just to see what kind of damage these creatures are going to create. To say that it works is an understatement, because no matter how bad this movie gets – and it gets pretty bad, you still end up watching it from start to finish.piranhaconda4

The acting is terrible, from the ditzy blonde to Madsen himself. The script is horrible and even if it were top-notch, without a decent cast, it may not have gotten any better anyways. The special effects are what you would expect from Syfy and the monsters look slightly ridiculous, but seeing them take out every single character in the film makes it slightly worthwhile.

Piranhaconda is not the worst movie you will ever see, nor is it anywhere near what someone would call good. At best, it is tolerable and nothing more.

2 out of 5
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