Long in the Tooth – Fangs (1974)

Depending on who you are, there is either a lot to love about Fangs or a lot to hate as the movie is definitely not one of those that people ever talk about much less even mention. With a budget that was probably embarrassing, the film looks cheap and feels cheap and one cannot help but notice when watching this. It is a movie that would make Roger Corman proud and while much of it was quite terrible, there were a few moments that made it all worthwhile. That would be an overstatement actually, it only made those few bits worthwhile and not the rest. It was awful from start to finish though not as bad as some other movies floating out there in the ether that should not exist and yet do.

It all begins with a man named Snakey played by Les Tremayne who is getting some grief about his snakes by the local preacher and a bit of harassment from the brother and sister who run the town’s grocery store. From there, the audience is treated to the same duo – Bud and Sis, hitting on the not quite so young-ish schoolteacher whom both fancy, seeing that schoolteacher have sexual relations with Snakey’s snake after which Bud and Sis essentially force their way into her house not soon after to do what they were unable to accomplish earlier in the day, watch Snakey party to a bit of classical music, Bud kill Snakey’s snake and then Snakey essentially take out his frustrations on every single person that crosses his path.

There is just a large hodge-podge of events taking place in this movie that has to be seen to be believed, if one can make it past that first tortuous half-hour that will try the patience of even the most stalwart viewer. Each character is fairly scummy in one way or another with Snakey perhaps being the best of the bunch and it makes a person wonder just how a place like this could exist in the world though, of course, anything is possible. Bud and Sis of course take the cake, the two quite disgusting in every way imaginable and as such, the perfect villains of the piece, if one were to call any of them bad guys in the classic sense. As it is, that honour goes to Snakey who goes from rascally old codger to vengeance machine, killing all of those who give him trouble or make fun of him and those he loves, those being his snakes.

Suffice it to say, this bit of sleaze is not something one will encounter every day and with it being a horror movie, it would have been nice if it had focused a little more upon that aspect of it all. With a lot of the best parts happening off-screen, one could only take away so much and at the very least, there was a bit of humour present though it was probably unintentional when Snakey would send all those cars over the cliff. Altogether Fangs might be that happy accident one is looking for late at night when nothing else is available or that movie one puts on and then immediately regrets.

2 out of 5

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