Beach Massacre at Kill Devil Hills should be a win just going by its title alone and yet, experienced movie-goers will automatically know that it is a trap as director Lawrence W. Nelson II tries to lure in unsuspecting viewers with a name that horror-lovers cannot resist.
It is hard not to watch this movie as one expects there to be all sorts of blood and guts and so forth within and yet, with there being very little, it makes it exceptionally hard to watch it as a result. When one factors in the editing which was simply all over the place with strange cuts here and there, the audio which went from a form of normality to sounding as if it was dubbed to the utter lack of horror present, the film was a chore to get through if one could even make it all the way. The film is packed with women including Rock of Love contestant Taya Parker and former pornstar Diana Prince and while that all might be considered a bonus, even they cannot save what ultimately ended up on-screen. Perhaps if they were given a fighting chance with the script it would have turned out better but it was packed with so much dialogue, one would think they were watching an episode of Gilmore Girls. Of the lot, Prince at least has a modicum of talent but was wasted in what would turn out to be nothing more than a throwaway role.
Once the killing eventually starts, it is at the point where nobody cares any longer, the movie being exceedingly long and when it is done, the audience will wonder just how it is they can get the time they spent on this picture back. A great title, a not-so-great film.
1 out of 5