Voodoo… of a Sort – Zombie Island Massacre (1984)

There is not a lot to love about Zombie Island Massacre even though it is sort of fun in a very Z-list movie type of way. What really galls about the entire affair is that other than one sort-of maybe zombie during the first act, there are absolutely no zombies to speak of in this entire film. Made by Troma and obviously on the cheap, it would have definitely been a lot better if there had been zombies in the picture for as it turned out, there is little to recommend it to even the most die-hard of fans.

Starring David Broadnax, Rita Jenrette, Tom Cantrell, Diane Clayre Holub and George Peters among others and directed by John N. Carter, the people within are actually massacred one-by-one so there is that though more often than not, the special effects fail to make it look very good and those that are killed either look ridiculous or are done off-screen. Again, zombies would have been appreciated. Those ‘zombies’ that do appear are just the people of the island dressed in leaves and camouflage in order that they might surprise their victims, all of it leading to an ending where it all turns out to be about drugs and a woman who is on the island to make a deal. There is a bit more to it than that – lots of walking, lots of talking and a bit of nudity to try and keep the odd member of the audience interested in what is happening but altogether, just a lot of cheese to fill up the very long eighty-eight minutes of running time.

Horror is a fickle thing as it requires filmmakers to actually put some of it in their movie and Carter did not. While Zombie Island Massacre was amusing in certain ways, it could never actually decide what it wanted to be. If there was one moment of horror to be found, it was from the tour guide who brought everyone to the island to get slaughtered, once again doing as such when the film was ending and the audience seeing a couple of children joining him and knowing what was in store for them and the man obviously the biggest monster to be found in the entire affair.

1 out of 5

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