Not the Ride That Was Expected – Hitchhiker Massacre (2017)

Where some slasher-massacres are great, like Slumber Party Massacre and some are just okay like Pool Party Massacre, there are those that are just plain terrible like this one, Hitchhiker Massacre.

All of the correct pieces were here including plenty of violence, a creepy old man, cannibalism, blood, guts and a little bit of nudity, it was simply that director and writer James L. Bills could not put the puzzle together correctly. The biggest fault to be found was a lack of cohesive story and when factoring in the awful performances of the cast, it made it all just a little hard to watch. The players, to put it lightly, were awful though it did include David Carradine’s daughter Calista and Drew Barrymore’s half-brother John among them. As one can plainly see though if deciding to watch this, talent it seems does not run in the family. Sometimes a poor cast is forgivable if the story or script is strong enough as one can usually overlook it, but here, other than a really basic plot of girls being killed for food or quite possibly organ harvesting as it seems at one point, there is nothing to latch onto.  What makes this disappointing is that the film started out with a chilling opening sequence that held a lot of promise, the movie merely failed to live up to it.

For those in need of a little blood break, Hitchhiker Massacre is best avoided in favour of something else, anything else.

1 out of 5

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