Must Be the Season of the Witch… – Necropolis (1987)

Necropolis is a film that makes it hard for anyone to like what happens within, much less say anything nice about. This is the kind of movie that a person would see on late night cable around two in the morning like KTLA amongst other classics like Exterminators of the Year 3000 or Warriors of the Wasteland, pictures that seem good at first but are only thought of as such due to the sleep-deprived minds of those still awake at that hour.

The story concerns a witch who likes to show off her extremely bad dance moves while worshipping Satan only to be killed and threatening those who just murdered her that someday she would be back. Cut to the present day and she is now a biker chick who is able to telepathically influence those around her into killing themselves so she might drink the ooze that comes from their skulls to prolong her life and she in turn can then pass it on to her flock through the six breasts she can grow when the need arises. Factor in a terrible reporter and an even worse detective and it all culminates in a showdown between the lot of them.

Though LeeAnne Baker has the look down pat for a witch looking to seduce herself some souls for her lord Satan, her acting leaves a little to be desired and the same can be said for the rest of the cast. Listening to them deliver their lines is not exactly painful, but it is quite dull and aside from a little blood spilled here and there, the movie has nothing to offer.  The special effects are poor, the music horrible and everything else about it not even worth mentioning, but it is so awful in that way that certain films get that once started, one cannot help but watch it through to its final scene.

Tripe is a word that does not adequately describe what Necropolis is, but what it can be called is pure cheese from beginning to end and it is the best kind – a vintage that is so bad it somehow also manages to be good.

1 out of 5

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