Two, Four, Six, Eight… – Satan’s Cheerleaders (1977)

Never taking itself seriously, Satan’s Cheerleaders is an extremely hokey, yet very fun film. With a title such as it is, one can expect it to be somewhat silly and it does not disappoint in being just that. The story concerns a group of cheerleaders who essentially just want to have fun. Somewhere along the way they manage to injure the fragile ego of the school janitor who also happens to be a Satanist/devil worshipper and they soon find themselves captured and then on the run from the rest of the cult who are looking to sacrifice a virgin for their dark lord.

For what seems like such a low budget horror, it does sport a pretty fantastic cast which includes Yvonne De Carlo, Jack Kruschen, John Ireland, Sydney Chaplin and John Carradine among them. For the most part, they would all play bit parts as the film would be centered around the titular cheerleaders but they would end up stealing the show, specifically Ireland as the bumbling Sheriff. Most of the comedy present would not start until the latter half of the film, though there were a few moments where the cheerleaders would do their best to provide a few laughs. Once Ireland showed up though and along with the rest of the devil worshippers, that is when the real laughs would take place and the film became more than a little funny as it moved towards its conclusion.

As for the horror present, what with the picture involving Satan and all, there was little to be found except in small doses such as Kruschen’s fantasy of being with the young, blonde and quite possibly virginal Patti as played by Kerry Sherman and a little bit of chanting to the dark lord. Usually one could count upon Carradine for the scares and yet here, he simply plays a very subdued bum – no overacting or outrageous acting present whatsoever. So while the scare count might have been exceptionally low, blood and gore completely absent, the movie still managed to entertain overall.

One thing that is for sure, Satan’s Cheerleaders is a movie not to be missed. It might not have everything one would usually find in a film of its kind, but what there is, director Greydon Clark would serve up better than most good-bad movies tended to do.

3.5 out of 5

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