A Patchwork Shark – Sharkenstein (2016)

Back in World War II, the Nazis were responsible for some of the most horrific things to have ever taken place in modern history. According to Sharkenstein, that included their experiments to weaponize one of the oceans most fearsome killing machines. Rightly so, it was shut down, but cutting to the present day, something is killing off the residents of a small community and it is soon discovered to be none other than a monstrosity of a shark comprised and built from the remains of its brethren to become the perfect tool of a mad scientist.

By all accounts, this movie is terrible, but its premise is a solid one and would have made a good film if it was given a budget with some actors that knew what they were doing. The script is poor and the dialogue quite bad and with actors that seemed like they were just randomly picked off the street, it comes off as incredibly amateurish most of the time. It might have been palatable if the CGI was up to snuff, but instead of the shark looking as monstrous and as incredible as the poster art would suggest, it looked more like some stuffed animal with a few stitches on it than anything else. Out of everything that Mark Polonia has done, this might have been the worst when it came to special effects. Again, the story is not all that horrible and mashing Nazis together with sharks and the Frankenstein Monster is genius, but it came off as a half-hearted attempt and overall, it simply did not work.

Once again, as with all of Polonia’s films, no matter how bad they get, there is still something there that transfixes the viewer just enough to keep them watching. Maybe it is the simple curiosity of wanting to know if it will get better as it goes along, or on the flip side, wondering just how bad it could actually become. Suffice it to say, Sharkenstein is all bad, but in a way and a slight one at that, there is one tiny sliver of good.

0.5 out of 5

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