No Satan, Just Aliens – Satan’s Satellites (1958)

Satan's Satellites 1
If there is one person you never feel sorry for, it is an alien sympathizer. Maybe said person was hypnotized or threatened or whatnot, but when aliens come down to conquer the Earth or want to blast it out of its orbit, there should be no reason for any native-born human being to want to be on the wrong side. Satan’s Satellites, a feature film cobbled together from the Republic serial Zombies of the Stratosphere, details that very situation – wanting to destroy the planet in order to move Mars into its position. It is a dastardly plan, one the aliens plan to accomplish using hydrogen bombs along with a small network of humans aiding them in said endeavor.

Satan's Satellites 10For the most part, the film is not all that bad. You would naturally think that a movie being assembled from a serial that was twelve episodes in length would be something of a nightmare, yet for the most part, it was quickly paced and fairly exciting in a very Saturday matinee kind of way. It is of course quite terrible in a number of ways as well, specifically when it came to the Martians who were just humans in a cheap glitter costume with a unibrow. A lot of the acting was also quite sub-par, again mainly when it came to the Martians and more to the point, their leader Marex as played by Lane Bradford, a man with as much charisma as a piece of cardboard. Still, despite whatever it was lacking, you could not help but have a lot of fun watching this, especially with the men in their flying suits, the space ships and even a robot who decided to make an appearance.

The only thing that really makes this a film worth seeking out is a very young Leonard Nimoy who stars as one of the Martians and in a way; you have to be thankful that it was not this particular alien that he was made famous for playing. In the end, the good guys win as you would expect, with the Earth safe and sound where it has always been, but given just how bumbling these aliens seemed to be, there was a good chance the Earth would have been just fine. Despite the title of the film, there was no Satan to be found, merely the aliens whose costumes seemed a little devilish in nature. Decent fare, nothing more.

2.5 out of 5
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