Big Brother: They’re All Gonna Laugh at You! (Or, They’re All Against You, Austin!)‏

Who here loves those episodes where the crap hits the fan, and house guests’ games are blown to smithereens and anything can happen? >Raises hand.< Ooh! Ooh! Me! I do! Well guys, this is it! We sort of had it when Clelli were up against each other, but other than the argument between Clay and various house guests, that week was relatively predictable. Clay sacrificed himself for fair Shelli (something that comes up again in tonight’s episode) and left the game, ever the knight in shining armour.

Austin’s ready to follow in Sir Clay’s footsteps, but unfortunately, he doesn’t quite have what it takes. Perhaps he should’ve been the one to do knight training instead of Shelli. Then maybe he’d have been able to save his maiden, Liz.

He’s there for her when she’s nominated, though he should be feeling just as upset, since he’s on the block too. But he puts his own emotions aside and strokes her hair and hugs her as she cries about how Steve betrayed them and then plots her revenge. And to this, I say whoa, whoa, whoa. Didn’t they just nominate him a couple of weeks ago? Sure, John was their real target, but they’d seriously considered evicting Steve instead. Now Steve is the bad guy for turning the tables on them? Seems a tad unfair to Steve, no? These girls go from loving someone to hating them in the blink of an eye. It’s enough to give you whiplash.

Austin asks Steve what he can do to help him, and Steve sees right through him. Austin’s basically doing to Steve what the girls had done when they’d all gone up to see his HoH room: he’s trying to butter him up to get Steve to save him. It’s not working, bro. Steve basically tells him what he wants to hear without promising him anything, and I think Austin knows it too. The only way to save both him and Liz is for Julia to win the veto. They need to try to throw the win to her so that she can pull Liz off the block and then control the vote once Steve nominates either Vanessa or John. I can’t imagine how they’re going to do this, since Julia sucks at challenges, but we’ll see.

And what is this week’s challenge? Why it’s the Bowlerina Championships, a repeat challenge from season 15. In fact, as Steve tells us, this is the challenge that split up Mcranda! I remember that challenge, and it ended in a hell of a lot of tears. Could this be a sign that history is about to repeat itself? Steve sure seems to think so. He’s very excited.

The house guests enter the back yard area in brightly coloured spandex and tutus, and they’re joined by none other than Mr. Pectacular himself, Jesse from seasons 10 and 11, in his own leotard and tutu. Both twins immediately start squealing and drooling over him, a fact that doesn’t impress Austin. You can see his eyes narrow in jealousy at the other wrestler as he sizes him up. In his eyes, Mr. Pectacular can’t hold a candle to him. Oh Austin. You’re not fooling anyone. Everyone can see that you’re jealous because, not only does Jesse have the job you want, but he’s also got your girlfriend’s full attention. Just admit it and move on.

As Jesse explains, the house guests will go head to head in a twirling/bowling challenge. They’ve got to spin around fifteen times to lower the gate at the end of their bowling alley, and then use the next fifteen seconds to roll bowling balls up the lane to knock over the four pins at the end. When the gate goes back up, they have to spin fifteen times again before they get another shot at the pins.

Liz gets to go first, and of course, she challenges Steve, her new nemesis. It’s immediately obvious just how much faster Liz is spinning than Steve. Steve looks like he’s lost somewhere inside his head as he spins. Maybe he’s mentally re-watching this challenge in season 15. Either way, he’s no good at this thing. He actually falls off the little platform the alley is on, he’s so dizzy. He somehow does manages to keep up with Liz somewhat, but she ultimately beats him.

Next up is Julia, and, in a move that shocks absolutely everyone, she challenges Austin when Vanessa tells her to. Steve and John are delighted. Liz can’t seem to function with this turn of events, and Austin goes off the deep end. He now assumes that Julia’s playing him, and that everyone is against him, united in trying to evict him. Why else would Julia challenge him? So with this new paranoia in his head, he realizes that he can’t throw the challenge to Julia and let her and everyone else throw him out of the house. He’s got to win this thing.

And he does, which makes Vanessa, Steve and John very happy. He’s just done their work for them! Now there’s no way that both twins and Austin can be safe this week, so one of them will go home.

John had had his sights on Austin to go home, but now that there’s some tension between Austin and Vanessa over this, he doesn’t have to worry quite so much about a Vanessa/Austin alliance at the moment, so he decides to target the twins. He challenges Liz and wins. Then Vanessa challenges Austin, which just makes Austin even more paranoid about being ganged up on. After all, Vanessa’s now the second person who should have challenged John but challenged him instead. So he brings out Judas and just kills the round. He’s seriously like an animal, bounding up to the bowling alley like an ape to throw those balls. Vanessa can’t even get a single pin down before Austin’s done.

So that leaves Austin and John. Austin shakes his hand and says to him, “I want this.” So John figures, alright, if he’s willing to take out a twin, why bother trying hard to win this game? He can give the veto to Austin and still send a twin home.

So Judas wins, and it’s about the sorriest win I’ve seen on this show. I’ve seen some obnoxious wins on Survivor, but this is pretty ridiculous. He’s all growly and bragging about the win, and he actually asks the other house guests, “Who wants to congratulate me?” Wow. That’s some arrogance, and it definitely rubs Liz the wrong way. She’s seeing a different side of Austin, and she doesn’t like it. So when Jesse rips off his leotard and flexes his muscles, Liz says to Austin, “You’ve got some work to do.” Amazing. Austin clearly is not impressed.

Once the challenge is over, everything hits the fan. Liz is furious with Julia for challenging Austin. Julia tries to defend herself. Vanessa had told her that if Austin won, she’d be going up on the block next to her sister, so she’d felt the need to take him out, though she now feels horrible about it. She feels like she’s been played by Van. You have, Julia. You have. Austin even tells her so. So the twins go to Vanessa (one or both of them. I can’t remember), and Vanessa spins it like a champ. She tells them in such a matter of fact voice that there was no way that Austin would’ve thrown the comp to them that they can’t help but believe her. She even swears on her girlfriend and her mom that she’s not playing them. And then, of course, she starts crying. She tells them that Austin can’t win in a final three with both twins and that he’d be okay with a twin going home. It’s all true, but she spins it just enough to make it sound like this has been his plan all along. As unlikable as Vanessa is, I can’t deny that she’s super impressive. The only person who seems to realize just how much a threat she is, is Steve, who knows he’s got to evict her soon, because he knows he can’t beat her in final two.

When she talks to Julia alone, she tells her that she’s never trusted him. She paints him into such a bad guy role that I actually kind of feel bad for the guy. And Julia buys all of it. She tells Vanessa that she won’t campaign against her sister, but she knows that Austin will campaign against her herself. Vanessa tells Julia not to worry. There’s no way they’d vote her out over Liz, and it’s true. It’s in no one’s best interest to save Liz. Liz joins them again, and tells them that she doesn’t know if she can trust Austin. Part of her had thought that he’d use the veto on her, but now she knows that he won’t. She thinks he’s selfish because he’s not like Clay and throwing himself down on a sword for her. I think she’s just as selfish. I can guarantee that if she’d won the challenge, she’d have used the veto on herself too and let Julia and Austin rot on the block, yet when Austin does it, suddenly he’s selfish for wanting to save himself. It’s half a mil, lady. I’d question his sanity (even more) if he did use it on you. What I think is funny is that Austin actually mentions Clay and that no one respects him for his chivalry right after the girls complain that he’s not enough like Clay. You can practically see the disgust on Liz’s face.

Austin and Vanessa have their own conversation, and once again, Vanessa plays the victim card, as she always does when someone confronts her. I need to see if I can get closed-captioning next week, because I have a hard time understanding these guys sometimes. Especially Vanessa. She talks so fast! She defends herself, mentioning something about not being able to win against the twins and about her and him being up on the block against each other. Basically, I think she was pointing out that the twins will never vote against each other, so with one twin gone; it’ll be easier for the two of them to get to final two, which I think is what Vanessa wants, much to John’s disapproval. Anyway, Austin goes into the conversation demanding answers and comes out apologizing to her. Brilliant. I don’t know how she does it, but man, she’s good. She should be in politics (oh God, can you imagine President Rousso? Shudder. I’d be like, glad I live in Canada!).

Anyway, all of this causes a big fight between Austin and Liz. She’s sulking in bed, and he comes to comfort her again, but she’s not having any of it. She thinks he’s keeping secrets from her (since Vanessa had told the twins about him wanting a twin gone and stuff), and he tells her he’d had to play along with Vanessa, but what he’d said wasn’t true. He also tells her that he’d thought everyone was against him, since Julia challenged him and then everyone rooted for her to win. She doesn’t believe him. She actually tells him that he disgusts her because of how he’d been bragging about winning, rubbing it in their faces. And he counters by telling her he’d ruined his life for her by breaking things off with his girlfriend for her. Wrong move, bro. He’d told her before that things had been on the rocks with his girlfriend, and now he’s making it sound like he’d given everything up for Liz. This does not help her distrust in him.

Of course, later on, she goes to him, and they make up (barf), but still, the fight was fun while it lasted. But they’re not out of the woods yet. He uses the veto on himself, naturally, and Julia goes up as his replacement. He’s basically pitted sister against sister by saving himself. How is that going to sit with the girls over the next few days? We’ll see tomorrow night.

I really hope that Liz goes tomorrow night. She’s a much bigger threat than her sister, plus Julia and Austin don’t like each other, so with Liz out of the picture, their alliance, I assume, will fall apart. The three voters will be Austin, Vanessa and John. Austin will obviously vote to keep Liz. Hopefully Vanessa and John will stick to their guns and get rid of Liz. It’ll definitely be in their best interests to oust Liz and keep Julia and then hope that she or Austin doesn’t win the next HoH. If Austin wins HoH, Steve and John are screwed. I have no doubt that Vanessa would be able to compel him to keep her around. She’s like a witch, casting spells on everyone in the house. I don’t get it. What I do know is I can’t wait for tomorrow. Let the twin showdown begin!

– Rebecca

6 replies »

  1. LOL…I just want to comment on one statement you made in your article….Vanessa for President….but you would be glad you live in Canada! Funny. Careful what you wish for however! LMAO…If I remember correctly, either or both Vanessa or her g/f Mel have dual citizenship in Canada! I don’t know what you have for political offices in Canada, but maybe Vanessa could run for something there! Her French is very very good.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Oh God no! I had no idea, but that is a scary thought. lol. Nope, she can stay down there and play her poker. Politics are crazy enough as it is.


  2. Let me tell you, I didn’t watch this show until season 13, and then a friend made me sit down and watch an episode, and I’ve been hooked ever since. This show is evil, and it’s frustrating as hell, but I can’t stop watching.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Another great review, Rebecca. Haha, Go Canada! That Van comment was funny. I didn’t know she was a fellow Canadian. That competition was intense. I felt for Austin too. Imagine being him? That was the most logical paranoia ever 😉 Julia got played though. Van is way too good at the social game. I actually want Liz to stay but that will take some work. Can’t wait to reae what you think of next episode.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I had no idea either. I don’t think I like the idea of Prime Minister Rousso either. lol. I’d totally have been paranoid if I’d been in Austin’s place. I’m just about to write the review for the next episode now. Sigh.

      Liked by 2 people

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