Horror

Uhhhh….. – Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)

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So, this film is garbage.

To sum it up, Michael and Margaret are on vacation with their daughter and dog, they get lost and end up staying at some strange house out in the middle of nowhere.  They are greeted by Torgo, a man that looks as if he has just finished fighting for the South in the Civil War and only returned home to 1966.  He would probably be the creepiest thing in the film if you could sit through to the end, but if you did, there is something worse than this guy.  Torgo lets them stay but he keeps going on and on and on about the master.  The master this and the master that, he would not like this but he likes your wife, he is dead but he is also alive, etc.  Etc.  Etc.  Funny enough, Torgo is also attracted to Margaret though she does not want any of that.  Surprise, surprise.  Hey look!  The master is alive, he has a dozen wives and he likes to pray to Manos, his god.  Stuff goes down, the wives fight, Torgo is no more and the family do not manage to get out even though it looks like they might.  Queue up the final nail to put this coffin in the ground, Michael it seems has become the new Torgo while his wife and 5/6/7 year old daughter have become two more of the master’s wives.  The little girl!

Garbage.

The script was terrible.  The acting was terrible.  The direction was terrible.  The editing was really terrible as there were often abrupt cuts, both to the film and to the score of the film.  The music was some strange hybrid of jazz and rock but both containing the flute.  Yes, the flute.  The soundtrack to the film was just atrocious as if they filmed it silently, mouthing all the words, then laying down the music track and then dubbing in their voices later.  As such there is no background noise, only that strange music throughout the film.  No car noises, no sounds from the woods or the house or anything else.  A little eerie, but mostly annoying.

Special effects you ask?  The master’s robe had two big hands on them.  That was pretty special.  The women at least were able to afford makeup.  So, there was that.

The best thing about this film and the only thing that gives it even a semblance of a rating is Diane Mahree who played Margaret.  She could not act, but she is a beautiful woman and highly attractive and provided the film with the only oasis for your eyes.  No wonder Torgo liked her so much.  Funny enough, this was her only acting role ever.  Probably for the best.

This is without a doubt, one of the worst movies ever made.

Utter trash.

Yet…

Slightly entertaining.

0.5 out of 5

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