This may not be a selling point, but if you are looking for an overly boring vampire film, then Grave of the Vampire is just for you.  Starring Michael Pataki in the title role of Caleb Croft, it finds him rising from the grave after many long years of sleep, grabbing a quick bite to eat from a guy who just happens to be close by and then rapes his girlfriend who is freaking out and then once done, heads off to begin his life anew in obscurity.  The same woman who managed to live through the attack is pregnant, and when she has her rapist’s baby she discovers that it will only drink blood.  Many years later, James Eastman who is now all grown up, heads off to find his dad and have a little father-son chat.

It is hard to get into this movie.  Very hard. Lyn Peters was probably the best actor out of the whole bunch, but on the whole the performances from everyone involved were amateurish and unconvincing.  Even Michael Pataki was not very good.  He was all right as the lead of the film, but if there is one actor who should be good in your movie, it is the person who fills the main role.  As it is, while Pataki had some genuinely creepy moments, he was too blustery at times and stilted during others and it simply did not help the film whatsoever.   William Smith was little better and was probably the worst out of the whole bunch and while the story itself was not that bad, there was really no one to deliver it in an effective manner.

The cinematography was okay, the lighting was decent and overall the film had an eerie feeling to it, but for a horror picture there was actually very little of it.  It would have been nice if it had been a little scarier than it actually turned out to be.  It had all the right elements to make it successful including some great practical effects for Pataki’s teeth.  Sadly, all of these things even added up, do not a good picture make.  This is a turgid and boring waste of celluloid and while it might not be the worst picture ever seen, it is still not very good.  Yes, it had its moments and there is enough there to hold your interest because the story itself was decent.  If you can catch it late at night on some random cable channel, then give it a go, but otherwise seek something better out.

2 out of 5