Gobbledygook. Poppycock. Hogwash. Drivel. Just a few words that can be used to describe Evil in the Woods, released back in 1986. The film had every chance to be good, but in the end, it turned out to be quite a mess, and as a result, it was hard to stay interested in.

The story, what there is of it, begins with a child taking a huge book out of the library. As he starts to read, a narrator takes over for the remainder of the picture to present the various events taking place. One plot involves a film crew making a movie about aliens, Bigfoot, and whatever else catches their interest. There are some cannibals in the woods and a witch as well. There is also a missing child, and somehow, all of these things are supposed to come together, though it is tough trying to figure out if they do, as the makers of this film fail to make it so.

One major problem with this movie is its lack of a coherent story. What is going on? There is a lot for the audience to latch onto, but it all seems to go nowhere. By the time the end comes around, those who have made it this far no longer care. The pacing is measured, and there is little action to keep things moving. Is this a horror? A comedy? It was not very scary, and there was not a single laugh to be found anywhere in this entire affair. Those who had a hand in crafting this feature most likely meant it to be funny at some point, whether through the narrator or some of the scenes, but everything fell flat. The individual stories are not so bad, but they needed to be fleshed out and some focus put upon at least one of them, perhaps two. There was simply too much and simultaneously not enough going o,n and it hampered the film more than anything else.

As for the rest, the acting was not as terrible as some might think, though it was not all that great either. Thespians, these people were not, and one has to wonder if they had been able to sell the material better, maybe there was a slight chance that it would have been more palatable. Doubtful, as not only was the entire affair nonsensical, but it was boring as well.

Suffice it to say, Evil in the Woods is not worth anyone’s time. If this one somehow makes it onto a streaming recommendation or is seen somewhere in the wild, pass it by. Life is short, and wasting one’s time on this when there are so many other things to see would be a crime.

1 out of 5