There are many bad movies out in the world. There are also quite a few terrible films, movies that are so awful that one has to wonder just how they got made in the first place. Below all of those is Frankenstein’s Great Aunt Tillie, released in 1984 and so obscure now forty years on that it will hopefully be left in the dustbins of history before another decade passes.

The story, what consists of one, finds Baron Frankenstein as played by Donald Pleasance, returning to the ancestral castle in search of treasure and to reanimate the creature that may or may not still exist along with his aunt, Matilda or ‘Tillie’ Frankenstein and his wife, Randy. Aging Playmate June Wilkinson stars as Randy while Yvonne Furneaux is wasted as the titular Tillie. There are others, of course, who appear in this movie, but once a person starts to watch this celluloid trash, it matters not who those people might be. It is an absolute chore to get through this picture. One has to actively steel themselves to sit through this absolute travesty of a film as it is both so bad and so very, very, very long. This might be the longest movie in history, and that is saying something, as it only clocks in at a hundred minutes. The pace is agonizing, especially since the film is supposed to be a comedy, and there is nothing remotely funny about it. It is excruciating, and that is being generous.

Pleasance, it was thought, might be a redeeming feature to be found, but even he could not save this affair, even if he tried. After watching this, it was clear he did not. The man is just as bad as everything else in the film, and that is saying something, as he has actual talent. If one gave it a little thought, he probably agreed to do the film simply for the fact that he would be playing opposite Wilkinson and was able to lock lips with her for a bit. At the very least, she looked good, but it was not enough to put anything forward as a win. The comedy fell flat; there was no horror to be found other than the poor script and the terrible acting, despite it being a Frankenstein film. One should have guessed, given the title, but there is always a chance that things could turn out differently than how one perceives them.

The monster was not the worst that the audience would ever see on the big screen, but the makeup was not up to par, and if one had to guess, there was little budget for the film. Everything from top to bottom needed to be better, and yet, if there had been a good script, it might have made all the difference. In the end, given just how slipshod it all was, one also has to wonder if there was a script or screenplay at all or if those who appeared just said and did whatever came to mind. As it is, Frankenstein’s Great Aunt Tillie is not worth seeing, even for the curious. Pass it by and worry not about the time you might have wasted watching this and the eventual regret you now will have avoided.

1 out of 5