Television

Big Brother Episode 1: Buckle up, Bitches!‏

bbep1
It has begun! The moment we’ve all been waiting for: Julie Chen, on the screen, introducing us to a new house and, in a moment, a bunch of new house guests. As usual, this is going to be the most exciting summer yet in the Big Brother house. There are going to be THREE twists this year (more on that later), so the house guests are going to have their work cut out for them. But first, let’s meet the first eight house guests!

James – An Asian South Carolinian, a self-proclaimed hillbilly. He was adopted as a baby, so he doesn’t know his actual ethnicity, but people apparently do a double take when they hear his southern accent. This is obviously something that he takes pride in. It’s something that sets him apart from the rest. I’m sure it’s not going to be the last time we hear about this this season.

Jace – A surfer/skater from California who likes to compare himself to Indiana Jones. He also made a joke to the other HG’s about being a pedicab driver (a la Hayden), so at least we know that he’s got a sense of humour.

Meg – A super bubbly, blonde girl from New York. She’s ready to both win over and manipulate everyone in the house. I’m already kind of over her. In her profile, she said that her biggest fear in the house was that she’d be bored, so how she deals with that boredom could get interesting.

Audrey – A transgender woman from Georgia. She’s a girly girl, but she’s also athletic and competitive, and she compares herself to Dexter Morgan, game-wise, getting rid of house guest after house guest and collecting their blood slides as she goes. Eek. She’s also all about girl power. Hopefully she won’t go out the same way Joey did last year.

Austin – A giant of a man and a professional wrestler named Judas. He’s super athletic, but he’s also intelligent. Apparently his master’s degree in medieval romance literature is going to be a huge advantage in the game, which is why he’s going to keep it secret. He’s ready to manipulate the other house guests, and if there’s a challenge that involves them swinging a sledge hammer at a tractor tire laying on the ground, he’s got it covered.

Shelli – A thirty-three year old decorator. She’s a girly girl, but she’s also a DIYer, which she thinks will help her through the game. She’s divorced and newly single, and she talks about being a ‘puma’, which tells me that a showmance would probably be almost as important to her as winning the game would be. In fact, as she’s packing, she doesn’t talk about playing the game at all. She just wants a tall guy.

Da’vonne – A poker dealing single mother. She’s fighting for her seven-month old daughter’s future, so she’s ready to take risks and get blood on her hands. She kind of reminds me a little bit of Tara from True Blood, hopefully not as irritating though.

Clay – A twenty-three year old graduate. He lives on a farm, and his mother rehabilitates animals (aww!) He played college football, which he thinks will help him through the game (it’s taught him how to adapt to situations). One thing is for sure–dude is good looking. All the girls will be falling over themselves to get to him.

Time for the house guests to head into the house! Of course, the girls are all screaming as they head inside, as they do every year. James is so flustered that he can’t find the bedrooms…even though we clearly see him running past three beds. This guy is going to be fun.

Later on, they explore around the house a little bit (a beach theme! A see-through floor upstairs outside the HOH room! No dresses up here, ladies!), they pop open the champagne and get to know each other a little better. Meg loves Jace’s energy–it matches her own, which could be good or bad. Shelli is very clearly into Clay, despite the fact that she’s 10 years older than him. She’s definitely got stalker eyes for him. Luckily for her though, he thinks she’s hot too. They bond over the fact that they’ve both got heart murmurs. So romantic!

Let the untruths begin! Clay decides to keep the fact that he played college football a secret because, reasons. Da’Vonne tells everyone she’s a teacher instead of a poker dealer, and Austin plays up all the injuries he’s sustained while being a wrestler. Personally, I think Austin has the best reason for keeping things secret, but then, I may be a little biased. Audrey soon lets everyone know that she’s transgendered, and she’s met with mostly cheers, especially from the women. James seems a little taken aback, but he recovers quickly. He can relate–being an Asian in the south has set him apart from others as well. Audrey tells them that her family was really conservative and sent her to a camp for troubled youth before they learned to accept her. Pretty boy Clay had thought he’d had troubles and adversity in his life, but realizes they were nothing compared to what she’s been through. It’s so hard being pretty!

Once intros are over, the game begins. While the guys talk about working out and eating cookies, the girls minus Meg get together and form a secret alliance. They all want a woman to win this year. Last year was pretty sad for the ladies, since they all more or less turned on each other instead of sticking together and sticking it to the guys. The difference so far this year is that these three women seem all in when it comes to this alliance, rather than one person wanting it and the others selling her out like last year. I think the challenge will come once the showmances start heating up. As I’ve said before, Shelli seems like someone who would blindly follow her man. She could end up being the lynch pin that makes the whole operation fall apart. Only time will tell.

Time to reveal the twists! The house guests are called into the living room and told that the Battle of the Block is back this year. For those who don’t know, there are two head of households crowned every week, and each HoH nominates two people for eviction. These four people compete in the BoB, and the winning team gets to come off the block. Not only that, but the HoH who nominated the winning team is dethroned and can therefore be sent home that very week. This twist made things pretty predictable last year, the same people being put up week after week. It really established the pecking order of the house, and it discouraged house guests from making big moves against the main alliance for fear of being targeted next. When your chances of being sent home are doubled every week, you don’t really want to rock the boat. Hopefully this year’s house guests will be a little ballsier.

The second twist is called BB Takeover, in which a new twist will occur every week. Every time they hear the takeover music, they have to go to the living room to learn about their next twist. This is all the information Julie gives the house guests, which, of course, just freaks them out even more. Austin worries that with all these twists going on all the time, they’ll never be able to relax or unwind. They’ll have to be on guard at all times. I think it’s hilarious. These guys are all going to be basket cases by the end of the summer.

The last twist is one that Julie tells the audience, but not the house guests: One contestant has a twin, and the two will be switching back and forth, pretending to be the same person. If they make it through five evictions, both twins will get to play individually.

Now that all the talking is out of the way, it’s time for the first Head of Household competition! One person isn’t allowed to play, for some reason, and though Austin wants to sit this one out, Da’Vonne beats him to the punch. The other seven step up onto platforms to begin Flying Tomatoes, in which they have to catch balls that look like tomatoes while their platforms move around, trying to knock them off. The first HG to catch ten tomatoes without falling off wins the competition.

The first person they show bragging about having the competition in the bag is almost always the first to go, and this time around, that honour goes to Clay. Apparently, he’s got this locked down because he played football, and doncha know that catching a football and catching a baseball are pretty much the same thing? He didn’t take the moving platform into consideration, though, and in no time, he’s down, followed closely by Austin (who also manages to yank his tomato holder off the wall as he goes) and Meg, who honestly didn’t even stand a chance. Jace, however, manages to succeed where Austin failed and uses his tomato holder to keep himself up on the platform.

Then comes the tomato juice, and now Da’Vonne is really glad she opted out. There was no way she wanted to get tomato juice in her weave. Which makes me wonder, how the hell is she going to get through the rest of the summer if she can’t ever get her hair wet? I can’t wait to find out.

In the end, the remaining contestants all fall off their planks at the same time, before any of them reach ten tomatoes, so they’ve got to go to the replay to see who touched the ground last. It’s very clear that Shelli and Audrey are not the winners, so that narrows this race down to James and Jace. And the winner is…James! The Asian Hillbilly is our first HoH!

What did everyone else think of the show? Did I leave anything out? What are your impressions of the house guests and this year’s twists? Leave a comment and let me know!

– Rebecca

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